Have you wondered why the very traits that attracted you to your partner in the first place, can become the traits that drive you crazy? Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that often your biggest strengths are also your biggest weakness. Without balance, your strength may become your downfall.
I have a fondness for good quality chocolate. I thought that I would greatly enjoy the all you can eat chocolate buffet. What I discovered was that after the third delicious chocolate dessert, chocolate became less and less appealing. Soon I was searching for anything that was not chocolate. It is possible to have too much of a good thing. Too much of even something wonderful, can become off-putting. In relationships, the wonderful quirkiness that drew your partner to you, can become the irritant that pushes you apart.
Having high standards and striving for excellence can start to feel like perfectionism and faultfinding. Your partner may feel that no matter what they will never get it right. The bar is set so high in your relationship that they are constantly disappointing you. To balance your amazing quality of striving for excellence, try being a little more accepting.
Being easy going may end up looking like abdication of responsibility. Your partner may feel that you are unwilling to express your preferences. They may get tired of making all the decisions. To balance your accepting and agreeable nature, try adding a little assertiveness.
The desire to keep things fair may turn into obsessive scorekeeping. Your partner may feel your relationship is more a competition than a love affair. Try balancing the desire for fairness with being more collaborative.
A strong desire to be a team player may end up feeling like dependence and clinginess. Your partner may feel smothered or start pushing for time to themselves. Try balancing the desire for collaboration with time for independent thought.
An independent nature may begin to feel like aloofness and distancing. Your partner may feel excluded and unappreciated. Try adding some collaboration to your relationship.
Being the life of the party, fun and talkative, may end up feeling impulsive and erratic. Your partner may have a difficult time feeling heard. Try pausing to listen more.
Being quiet and thoughtful could begin to look like withdrawal and secrecy. Your partner may feel left out and that you take life too seriously. Try consciously choosing to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner.
To make the best of your strengths and keep them from turning into weaknesses requires courage. The courage to choose to stretch and grow. You can recognize where your strengths begin to work against rather than for you. Think in terms of moderation in your relationship. Just like reasonable portions of chocolate each day, taste so much better than overdoing it. Balancing your strengths so that they do not become irritating will make your relationship healthier.