Your marriage has the potential to be fulfilling, energizing and loving. Perhaps happily ever after is a fantasy, but strong, loving relationships are not. You can by making positive choices create a relationship worth envying. Here are 10 commandments (tips) for creating a loving relationship:
1. Have fun together. Do things regularly that are fun for both of you. Laugh together often.
2. Listen twice as much as you talk. Get curious and really listen to your partner. Learn about what they like and what is important to them. Feeling understood brings partners closer together.
3. Give appreciation. Say thank you often. Notice the things that your partner does that you like and point them out. This helps you to remember why you love your partner and helps your partner know why you love them.
4. Communicate. Share your thoughts, feelings, fears and dreams with your partner. Be honest and open. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
5. Sacrifice. Making little and big sacrifices for each other greatly increases loving feelings.
6. Be Supportive. Celebrate with your partner. When your partner shares dreams and ideas with you, be excited with them.
7. Smile. Every morning and night look at each other and smile. Smile often at each other. Find reasons to smile with your partner.
8. Take turns. When you find yourselves butting heads about where to eat, what movie to watch, or where to go on vacation. Stop and decide to take turns. Just remember that when it is not your turn, to smile and enjoy yourself. Your turn is coming.
9. Say important things. Say I love you often. Say I am sorry when you have hurt your partner, whether you meant to or not. Other important things to say are: would you please, thank you, what do you think, and I forgive you.
10. Meet your own needs and help meet each other’s needs. The ultimate responsibility for meeting our needs belongs to us. No one can make us feel loved if we are convinced that we are unlovable. At the same time, if you help your partner feel loved, important, secure, and experience excitement or variety, they will feel close and bonded to you.
Following these commandments and encouraging your partner to follow them as well, will increase the loving feelings in your relationship.